Yesterday I was being pretty hard on myself. Thinking that perhaps this trip was not the best plan. Funny thing though, as I started to really fine tune my thinking I realized that I signed up for this. Everyday is not going to be perfect no matter where or what a person is doing. Some days are good and some aren’t. I took a chance the last few days and came out of it a little more weary than anticipated but then there was today.
Today, weather aside was much better. Don’t get me wrong, as far as weather goes for this time of year it was awesome. I’m just being picky due to the fact that I found good photo subjects that could have been awesome with just a few rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds. Other than that life is good. Again.
I was thinking today that if I’m out here doing this, what I signed up for. The last thing I should be is anxious, angry or depressed. Not that I’ve really been any of those things to the extreme just a little disillusioned at times. Back to my point. How much would it suck if out here on this trip something happened and my proverbial number was up and I was bitter or angry about something that day. I mean, I signed up for this, I LOVE doing this, when I find some photographic “gold” I’m actually instantly high. So with that said I’m going to really try and reel in my self doubt and inner child bullying because it just doesn’t work.
This got me thinking about other things. As much as it would be truly disappointing to have it end all on a bad note doing something you loved. What about people having their ticket punched on their way home from a job they hate, to a life they aren’t happy in? Where is the sense in that?
I’ve just begun to realize that our time here is short and that I’m really glad I decided to do this. Closed parks, cloudy days, boxes of cereal bars and the inevitable cold temperatures are only minimal distractions to the big picture. I’m not at home, sitting in my apartment wishing I was exploring and finding things to feed my camera while the economy and city around me unravels.
Anyway, enough of the inner workings of my head. Back to you regular scheduled programming. Oh and remember kids, it’s getting to be that time of year again. Baby Jesus wants you to buy lots of large ticket consumer items this coming Christmas!!